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Venus Vs Mars

This was written by a guy… it’s pretty damn smart. Girls — Have a sense of humor!

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, “I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me.”

I said, “WHAT??!! What was that?!”

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear…

“You’re just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.”

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, “Can’t you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?”

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn’t decide which one to take, so I told her we’d just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, “Lets get a pair for each outfit.”

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out! a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you… she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, “That’s fine, honey.” She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, “I think this is all dear, let’s go to the cashier.”

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, “No honey, I don’t feel like it.”

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
“WHAT?”

I then said, “Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You’re just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.”

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
“Why can’t you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?”

Apparently I’m not having sex tonight either….but at least that bitch knows I’m smarter than her.

Alright girls. Repost this if you agree. Hell even if you disagree, repost it.

Men, repost this because you have balls



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17 Comments »

Comment by Monika Mundell
2008-05-20 15:25:30

Hahahaha…..that is pretty darn funny Cheewee. I loved it and would have to say I do agree since I can see the funny (and true) side of this story.

It reminds me about the occasional quabbles I have with hubby until the irony of the situation suddenly dawns to us and we break out with silly laughter.

I won’t re-post though, but well done. Great point. :-)

 
Comment by Dave
2008-05-20 16:00:11

ive honestly never had this problem or anything close to it…am i luck? i don’t know…

 
Comment by anjila
2008-05-21 01:16:29

oh my gowd…….. how funny………. im so so laughing lol……….
im a girl and very very true point haha haha

 
Comment by jules
2008-05-21 08:20:33

that’s hilarious, if my bf did that, I’d rofl.
but then again, i’m not like that girl.

hope u got laid since this’ been posted.

 
Comment by Kim
2008-05-24 01:06:52

Here’s the deal. This “story” has be floating around the internet for eons. But it has some value. It tells the story of the continuing errors men and women make in choosing a good partner or mate. That girlfriend is no doubt “hot” – a real “trophy”. A high maintenance princess who showed those red flags early on but he didn’t want to pay attention to who she really was. Because guys are so into having a “total babe” on their arm to impress thier friends, they get stuck with these spoiled bitches and then have the nerve to complain about it. Women get totally into the money thing and don’t let themselves think about the actual relationship. Just the stuff they can get.
When are guys going to learn that “trophies” aren’t free? And women, when are you going to learn that no matter how much $$$ the guy has there is NO free lunch.
Silly humans we are.

Comment by Gabriel
2008-05-27 13:15:45

I think you’re taking this story out of context. It’s just a simple criticism of the absolute pettiness of shallow relationships and the hypocrisy of one sided relationships when a person is arrogant towards the fact that they are taking without giving and the ignorance to the effect it has on their partner. Of course… I am being slightly hypocritical by analyzing it even that far…

Honestly, it’s just one of those funny stories that circulate the internet. Any meaning you derive from it is personal and should be kept that way, unless, of course, the opinions are requested…

I should just stop now before I make any more of a hypocrite of myself than I already am…

 
 
Comment by Matt Bowen
2008-05-24 04:07:08

Hilarious. SO. DAMN. TRUE. Seriously, what is WITH women and getting dudes all worked up, then suddenly saying no at the last second?? That’s rather unfair, ladies. Well done man. I would NEVER do that, merely because I’m not looking to get castrated. But good work none the less, i’ll be sure to show my babe. Right on!

 
Comment by Jewel
2008-05-24 06:16:40

wow.

true.

But i’ve read this before.

 
Comment by zazii
2008-05-25 03:03:30

OMG, I laughed so hard, ‘cuz it’s true!!! Most women are like that… I’ve known a few, luckily for me I don’t like ‘em (I’m a girl in case you ask), and luckily for guys I’m not like that (even so, I don’t seem to get them hahaha)

 
Comment by Elias
2008-05-25 03:16:39

EXCELLENT, I would like to try it with the next overestimated girl I have the honor to meet.

 
Comment by relationship vows
2008-05-26 21:51:54

Relationships are really very weird to understand and comprehend, this one is just one example, why do we have to have relationships, why can’t man be as casual as animals. Are their any pros???
It takes us lives to get a hang on one…
“Feelings” are something I look upto but if not reciprocated, it sucks.

 
Comment by sharon
2008-05-27 13:15:32

ha ha, really funny…..

 
Comment by sharon
2008-05-27 13:16:05

very funnnnnnnyyyyyyy

 
Comment by hoscha
2008-05-27 20:31:39

AHAHAHAHAHAHA i not often actually laugh when i read stories on the web. now i did. nice

 
Comment by Nick
2008-05-30 15:05:21

that was pretty funny! It would be a great way to make a point though if it were true.

 
2008-06-04 21:21:42

[...] how well the post Venus vs Mars was received, let’s post another article about the love-hate relationship between men and [...]

 
Comment by betsy_poo2
2009-11-30 04:04:55

hahahhahahahhahha…..this is funny..i totally agree

 
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